Saturday, August 31, 2019

Losing sight

Assalamualaikum


Yesterday was our Independence day, the day where my seniors truly enjoy independence from medical school. My 2 closest seniors will embark days waiting for HO and going through HO itself. 



These days, I question do I really wanted to do medicine? As if I knew what do other than medicine. There's no doubt that I am the one who choose this journey and even fight for it towards my end of asasi, but now, I really really feel lost. Not even the word 'lost' can describe. It's like, I'm out of love towards my crush who never really notices me. But then again, not like I work hard for it.


Probably the reason why I am out of love because I don't work for it that hard? I dont know, it is very blurry. Probably these feelings will help me figure out if someone decided to quit medical school. Even if it is my long wanted dream who would have ever thought I become this lost?


So, today, I think, I still have a lot of abilities, but most of the time, I let my abilities hid away. In any way, it doesn't in slightest bit help me for my own growth and development. I shouldve been more braver and putting myself out for a mistake that can actually help me grow and become better. 


No more chicken out, and I will continue this journey passionately 


And as for the intro saying 2 of my seniors will be graduating, that itself means, I am slowly losing my support system and I have to function on my own next time. I am sure Allah knows that I am ready for this... And with that, I should be brave right?

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