Sunday, November 4, 2018

Year 3 Medicine Posting

You know you will struggle a lot if you get Medicine or Surgery as your first posting, they say.


Assalamualaikum everyone!


Right now, I am just starting my miraculously given 1 week of semester break. And it is our first time in our course to be given such privilege. But of course, I did not bother to think to fly back home because Medicine requires a lot of revision and practice. Revision can be done at home but practice on patients? I still need to go to hospital for that. 


A lot of people asked me, how was Medicine posting was like?
I tell you plainly, it was abundant. A lot to catch up. Physical examinations that we need to master for 4 major system were CVS, CNS, Respiratory and Abdominal. But we also have to know how to perform PE like Rheumatology (joints), Endocrinology (Thyroid, Acromegaly etc). And that worries me. Because I am today years old, I realized that my practical side is not as good as my theoretical side. 


One of a Dr said, "Who asked you to take medic? You are the ones who made the pack with the devils." He did mentioned the importance of doing revision. I personally agree to this, but I can't really make myself study 6 hours everyday. That's just wow. Maximum for me was 4 hours a day (not days near exam week. A day before exam I might have able to suck it up and maintain my momentum.


It was my first posting and it was the hardest one.
They say, the highest 'failing' rate posting among all.
InsyaAllah, we can do this


I can't really say that I hate this posting. Because I learnt a lot. Medicine is like basically everything that requires treatment in term of usage of medications excluding surgery stuffs and obstetrics and gynecology stuffs. 


In this internal medicine posting, we are required to fill our logbook to observe procedures, present long case or short case during bed side teaching (BST) and be on-call for 3 hours in Emergency and Trauma department (ETD). Whenever I am in ETD, I feel so worthless I don't know why. Like I am not some sort of competence. After my oncall, usually I feel like I am worthless, probably because in ETD sometimes Dr expected we know to perform certain procedure. Remember when I told you guys my practical side ain't good? I still cannot perform ECG on my own. My friends all can do it confidently.


 
In this year 3, I kept thinking Why am I here? what are my other interests in life as if I want to change my path. But I to be honest, only interested in medical field. 


I found a video from sis Aida Azlin that related to my feelings; 




I remembered, after my asasi ended, I went back to my high school which I always miss dearly, and there was my Math teacher who told me this after she had known what course that I took. "Bukan calang-calang orang Allah pilih untuk ambil medic. Mesti ada something pada awak yang Allah nampak, yang awak sesuai untuk course itu." She continued by saying like some people afraid of blood and etc which might interfere with the nature of work that a doctor requires. 


Sometimes I envied some of my friends who already dropped out from medical school even before entering clinical years. They are so lucky they had figured it out that they do not suit with this kind of work. But then again, like I said. My interests are none other than medicine for now. Had to say for now because we don't know what might happen in future, so just in case I type it down hekhek. 


Other than that, clinical years require a lot of communication skills. That also, one of other things that I need to polish. Andddd we need to present a lot, on the spot. With the right words to say, with medical term in front of lecturers but in front of my patients, we need to ask in layman term, do not include any medical jargon. 


Please pray for me and my classmates to pass this posting,
May Allah bless you ;)
If I had the mood, I might post about my end of posting exam. 

Typed by:

Year 3 still learning Unimas Medical student. 


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